by Gena Sego
When I was a little girl I remember writing notes to my best friend and always signing off at the end of my note with BFF or Best Friends Forever! Growing up everyone wanted someone to call her BFF. I even remember having a necklace shaped like half a heart broken in two that said Friends and my best friend had the other half the necklace that said Forever. Friendships in the teenage and college years were so important. How about now? Do we still need best friends as grown women? If we are married, isn’t our spouse to be that best friend? I would say yes to both of those questions. Of course we want our spouse to be our best friend, but God has uniquely designed us to have friendships with women too. Ecclesiastes 4:10 says For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up. This is a sign of true friendship, when you have a friend who walk with you during hard times and encourage you along the way with prayer and her presence.
Even our Lord Jesus had close friends. Yes, he had the 12 disciples, but even among them he was closest to Peter, James and John. Those were his 3 closest earthly companions, the very ones he selected to take to the mountaintop to show them he was truly the son of God (see Matthew 17:1-8). Through Jesus example we see that we need someone we can be transparent with in life. Someone we can share our most personal experiences with. So just because you are all grown up now, don’t neglect pursuing and cultivating rich and deep girlfriends. God designed us to need relationship and friends can make going through life so much sweeter.
If you don’t have a best friend, how do you go about making one? There are some things you should look for when making a deep friendship with someone. Here are a few things:
- Are they a like-minded Christian? This is not to say that you can’t be friends with non-believers. However, it is wise to make sure your closest and best friends are seeking to honor and obey the Lord. A true friend is one who will always point you to the Lord when hardship comes your way.
- Do they have a positive and biblical view of marriage? This may sound strange, but it is vital that you develop friendships that you not find yourselves constantly bashing on your husbands. Unfortunately, there is too much of that going on in the world. As believers we know that our husband is to be our number one human priority and work to enrich our marriage, not harm it. If you find yourself hanging out with someone who is always frustrated with her husband and telling you all of his flaws, then you should probably consider finding a new friend or invite her to do the Called to be a Keeper study with you!
- After spending time with a friend do you leave feeling encouraged or discouraged? It should go without saying that our BFF should be someone we enjoy hanging out with. So when you find yourself always feeling refreshed, encouraged and wanting to spend more time with someone, then they might just be a good best friend. You should do what you can to spend more time with them and see if a deeper friendship develops.
If you are blessed to have a BFF or two, why not be like the apostle Paul and write them a note today and let them know you thank God for them. Then share with us your story about how your BFF has helped you over the years.
(Gena Sego lives in Edmond, OK. She has been married to the love of her life, Bart, for 17 years. They have two teenage daughters. Besides being a Keeper of her home full time, she also works part time for a management-consulting firm as an executive assistant. A former Keepers team member, Gena teaches the Household Management Skill Session in the newly updated Keeper DVDs and facilitates Called to be a Keeper Bible studies in her local church.)
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