For Wives on Father's Day

Posted by The Keepers Ministry on 06/11/2013
by Pete Hammett When my wife asked me to write a Fathers' Day post, she gave me only a few guidelines… (300-400 words geared toward a female audience).  One of my many character flaws is a desire to draw attention to myself by being provocative, such as saying the thing that’s on everyone’s mind but no one wants to mention out loud.  Or perhaps asking the probing question that really puts someone on their heels. But thanks be to God for His patience, mercy and tenderness in working with me.  Because He has compelled me through recent experiences to share something quite simple…

To be a father, you need a mother!

Couple on Beach This sounds silly I know.  But the thought that has enveloped me of late is how much Ineed my wife.  To be a dad you need a mom.  To be a husband you need a wife.  But more important – to be complete, to be fully what God has called me to be, I need Debbs. I am blessed to have a job that allows me the opportunity to coach leaders throughout an entire organization, to help them enhance their effectiveness – as a manager and a leader.  Sometimes I’m approached when a person is going through a difficult challenge or hardship.  When I ask folks who they have that they can go to on a regular basis for support and encouragement, I’m dismayed by how few people mention their spouse.  When I ask why they don’t share their burdens with their spouses, I hear things like: I don’t want to burden them with my problems; my work is too complicated and they wouldn’t understand; or I don’t want my spouse to think I’m not able to handle things. wedding ringsSo as this note is for wives on Fathers' Day, let me share this: your husband desperately needs you – for support, for encouragement, as a spiritual partner lifting him up in prayer.  Life is very demanding these days.  Jesus told us that in this life we would have many trials.  If your husband isn’t communicating with you how difficult things are at work, then he’s keeping his burdens to himself. And my advice is to ask God to give you the words and actions that will be an encouragement to your husband.  You can’t make your husband open up to you – this is a work that God must do.  But you can show a desire to want to be involved in every part of his life – and especially the parts that are burdens. No one on the face of this earth is more committed, more devoted and more concerned with the details of my life than my wife.  I would be lost without her.

“An excellent wife, who can find?
  For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, 
And he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:10-11

Pete Hammett has been married to Debbs for 34 years. They have three kids and four beautiful grandchildren and have lived in Oklahoma for the last three years.


Dana Says:
June 11th, 2013 at 2:20 pm
Thank you Pete for the reminder that my husband needs me to share his work burdens also. We tend to compartmentalize this part of his life and I know it's the area of his greatest stress.

Lori Merrill Says:
June 11th, 2013 at 3:00 pm
Great article Pete! Thanks for the reminders and thanks for taking the time to write!

Marcy Schneider Says:
June 12th, 2013 at 12:24 pm
Great article, Pete.
Thanks for the reminder!
Happy Father's Day!

Debbs Hammett Says:
June 14th, 2013 at 11:26 am
Thanks ladies for your comments. I'll pass them along to himself!
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